ABANDON CRAFT, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE. 

Beer Hell kills our souls with lifeless suds
pandered by Slickateers who fear the hope
and optimism of true Craft Brewers.

SAY HELL NO TO BAD BEER.

Say Hell No to industrially mass-produced adjunct beer.
Say Hell No to any beer that mocks Creativity.
Say Hell No to pseudo-craft beers fronted by
multinational corporations.

Say Hell No to beer sold by anyone in a bikini.
Say Hell No to swill that can only be sold with bribery and
free tickets and sexy stewardesses.

GET ME OUTTA HERE